Quick answer: The best questions to ask your parents are open-ended questions that invite stories, not one-word answers. Ask about childhood, parents and grandparents, school, work, relationships, traditions, major turning points and the lessons they want younger generations to remember. You do not need to ask all 50 questions in one sitting. Pick five or 10, let the conversation wander and follow the stories that matter.
Most parents and grandparents carry dozens of stories that never make it into a family tree. They remember the house they grew up in, what their parents were like, the first job they hated, the meal everyone ate on holidays and the family stories that were repeated so often nobody thought to write them down.
The easiest way to preserve those memories is to ask good questions while the people who know the answers can still tell the stories themselves.
This list is designed to help you start. You do not need to ask every question. Choose the ones that fit your family and use them as conversation starters.
Before you start: make it a conversation, not an interview
A long list of questions can make someone feel as if they are taking a test. A better approach is to choose a few questions and let each answer lead naturally to the next story.
- Use a phone or voice recorder if they are comfortable being recorded.
- Choose a quiet place where nobody feels rushed.
- Ask follow-up questions such as “What happened next?” or “How did that feel?”
- Bring photographs, letters or family objects to help trigger memories.
- Write down names, places and dates you may want to verify later.
For the full process, see How to Record Your Parents’ Life Stories Before They’re Lost.
Questions about childhood
Childhood questions often unlock details that never appear in official records. Ask about places, routines, smells, sounds and the people who shaped everyday life.
- What is your earliest memory?
- What was the home you grew up in like?
- What was your neighborhood or community like?
- What games did you play when you were young?
- What did your family usually eat for dinner?
- What did your family do on weekends?
- What holidays or celebrations did you look forward to most?
- Was there something you were afraid of as a child?
- Who were your closest childhood friends?
- What is one childhood memory you can still picture clearly?
Questions about parents, grandparents and family
This is where one generation can preserve memories of an even earlier generation. Ask what people were like, not only what they did.
- What were your parents like when you were growing up?
- What did your mother or father do for work?
- What did your parents teach you that stayed with you?
- What do you remember about your grandparents?
- Were there family members everyone looked up to?
- Were there relatives who were especially funny, strict, adventurous or unusual?
- What family stories did you hear over and over as a child?
- Were there subjects the family rarely talked about?
- What family traditions came from earlier generations?
- What do you know about where our family came from?
Questions about school and growing up
School memories can reveal personality, friendships and the wider world someone grew up in.
- What were you like as a student?
- Who was your favorite teacher, and why?
- What subject did you enjoy most?
- What subject did you dislike?
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- What music did you listen to as a teenager?
- What did you do for fun as a teenager?
- What was considered fashionable when you were young?
- Did you ever get into serious trouble?
- What do you remember about becoming independent from your parents?
Questions about work, money and adult life
Jobs, homes and money decisions often reveal how dramatically life changed between generations.
- What was your first job?
- How much did you earn, and what did you do with the money?
- Which job taught you the most?
- Was there a job you particularly loved or hated?
- How did you choose the work you eventually did?
- What was the first major thing you bought with your own money?
- What was your first home as an adult like?
- What was one period when money was especially tight?
- What invention or change in technology affected your life the most?
- What part of adult life turned out differently than you expected?
Questions about love, marriage and relationships
These questions can lead to wonderful stories, but use judgment. Not every relationship is something a parent or grandparent will want to discuss.
- How did you meet your spouse or partner?
- What do you remember about your first date?
- When did you realize the relationship was serious?
- What was your wedding or commitment celebration like?
- What surprised you most about becoming a parent?
Questions about turning points, values and legacy
The final questions move beyond dates and events. They capture what someone believes mattered most about the life they lived.
- What was one of the hardest periods of your life?
- What decision changed the direction of your life?
- What are you most proud of?
- What do you wish you had understood when you were younger?
- What do you most want your children, grandchildren or future family members to remember?
The best follow-up questions are usually simple
You do not need another list of 50 follow-ups. A few short prompts can keep a story going:
- What happened next?
- Who else was there?
- What was that person like?
- How did you feel about it at the time?
- Why do you think you still remember that?
- Do we have a photograph or object connected to that story?
Use photographs to unlock stories
If the conversation slows down, open an old photo album. Ask who is in a photograph, where it was taken and what happened that day. A single picture can lead to stories about relatives, homes, clothing, cars, jobs, vacations and traditions.
If you have a large collection, our guide to organizing old family photos explains how to preserve names and context before they are forgotten.
Ask about recipes, customs and cultural traditions
Some of the most important family history is carried through food, language, customs and everyday practices. Ask which traditions came from parents or grandparents and whether they came from an ancestral homeland or community.
You can also explore our guides to preserving family recipes and preserving cultural traditions and family heritage.
What should you do with the answers?
Do not let the recording disappear onto a phone or hard drive. Label it with the person’s name and date, make a backup and connect important stories to the photographs, relatives, places and records they mention.
That is the idea behind Family Histories: instead of leaving memories scattered across recordings, photo folders and documents, you can connect them into an archive the next generation can actually explore.
See how Family Histories works, explore more ways families use it, or see the demo.